Tuesday, August 21, 2007

State of Mind

Well there I was walking down Broadway in NYC listening to the most laid back music on earth, Donavon Frankenreiter watching thousands of people bussle about doing all manner of crazy stuff. "If it don't matter" blasting away in my ears like a personal anthem of my current state of mind. I don't think I have ever felt more centered in a very long time, as if something in the universe suddenly opened up and let me know "Hey man, you might have done something right". Here I was looking up at the huge billboards in time square with everything that is NYC surronding me like a thick fog. Cabbies blasting horns, people with a mission, dogs craping on cement, venders hawking the latest cracked DVDs and the smells of the city. Hog dogs, and pizza, gutter funk, and exhust that just seems to melt together to form a scent only a city can make. How foreign but yet so resident in my mind from living here that I felt of a ghost of my former life. I don't miss it but in it's own way it is a part of me that only comes alive here in the city. There is just something strange about New York, being here sets that little demon free.

I missed my wife and the song echoing in my head has very deep roots with us. Everything I do here is just missing that little bit, that something special that you only get when your best friend is with you to share. I actually found myself searching the crowd for her today before I realized she was not with me. I missed my family, and living in NYC years back I did not have the pleasure of seeing them day to day. 2000 miles will carve a chasm that phone lines don't seem to be able to bridge enough to feel like home. Home will never be New York, I don't think it ever was. It was just a neat place to hang my hat while I figured out my home is where my family, friends, and most of all my wife are. I miss you guys....but first I am going to 23rd and 3rd to get a cheese burger at Molly's....Ironic.



MiniMolli said...

Wow, great post. Made me wish I was there! You better have a beer and a cheesburger for me at Molly's!

Damsel Underdressed said...

So so so sweet and adorable! I bet someone is going to get some when he gets home. ;)

Anonymous said...

I hope that feeling rubs off on me. Lately I feel like I'm in the mine cart, out of control, headed for the Temple of Doom.

Gnat of Glass said...


I will do one better I am going twice. Waiting for Ed on the second one.


You made me blush....ok laugh but I was red.


I can only guess. 2 weeks in the pit does not boad well for anyone. Give me a call if you need to, I am just locking myself in the room to study tonight.


snowelf said...

Aww, Scott! That was such an awesome post. :) It's great to hear you enjoy NY, but even greater to hear you enjoy your wife's company more.


The Phosgene Kid said...

It is tough being apart, but ah the reunion is worth it.

I spent a lot of time away from Mrs. Phos, but she kept on pressing and it all worked out. The only twist is I since I "retired" I still don't see much of her. I even miss her during the day, but I suspect that is a good thing, means I am still in love.

angel said...

that is such a cool post!