Well there I was walking down Broadway in NYC listening to the most laid back music on earth, Donavon Frankenreiter watching thousands of people bussle about doing all manner of crazy stuff. "If it don't matter" blasting away in my ears like a personal anthem of my current state of mind. I don't think I have ever felt more centered in a very long time, as if something in the universe suddenly opened up and let me know "Hey man, you might have done something right". Here I was looking up at the huge billboards in time square with everything that is NYC surronding me like a thick fog. Cabbies blasting horns, people with a mission, dogs craping on cement, venders hawking the latest cracked DVDs and the smells of the city. Hog dogs, and pizza, gutter funk, and exhust that just seems to melt together to form a scent only a city can make. How foreign but yet so resident in my mind from living here that I felt of a ghost of my former life. I don't miss it but in it's own way it is a part of me that only comes alive here in the city. There is just something strange about New York, being here sets that little demon free.
I missed my wife and the song echoing in my head has very deep roots with us. Everything I do here is just missing that little bit, that something special that you only get when your best friend is with you to share. I actually found myself searching the crowd for her today before I realized she was not with me. I missed my family, and living in NYC years back I did not have the pleasure of seeing them day to day. 2000 miles will carve a chasm that phone lines don't seem to be able to bridge enough to feel like home. Home will never be New York, I don't think it ever was. It was just a neat place to hang my hat while I figured out my home is where my family, friends, and most of all my wife are. I miss you guys....but first I am going to 23rd and 3rd to get a cheese burger at Molly's....Ironic.